Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
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Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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