I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I am one with the molecules
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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