I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize