I could make wine with my vomit
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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