I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
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hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
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Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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