Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize