you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm at about main and main street
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize