He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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