Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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