Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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