So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
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Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
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Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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