By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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