i think i have two assholes
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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