Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
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I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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