I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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