So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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