u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize