I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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