I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
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I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
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WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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