And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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