He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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