Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize