Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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