____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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