she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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