go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize