All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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