it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
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Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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