I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize