ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just google imaged poop.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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