I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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