its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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