this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize