I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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