but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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