My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
this beer tastes like vomit already
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize