I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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