boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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