wakey wakey hands off snakey
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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