so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
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Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
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