I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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