The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize