I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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