Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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