so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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