Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?

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(248): I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you? http://tfl.nu/mhei

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(620): View more from Kansas

Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?

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(620): Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair? http://tfl.nu/bhha

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy

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(803): I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy http://tfl.nu/msis

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous

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(267): Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous http://tfl.nu/kdtt

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(517): View more from Michigan

Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...

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(517): Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions... http://tfl.nu/wg6s

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(714): View more from California

im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?

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(714): im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join? http://tfl.nu/idc6

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(817): View more from Texas

he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.

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(817): he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him. http://tfl.nu/kyym

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(740): View more from Ohio

Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty

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(740): Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty http://tfl.nu/686x

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(727): View more from Florida

I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"

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(727): I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying" http://tfl.nu/wtiy

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(618): View more from Illinois

This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.

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(618): This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape. http://tfl.nu/eyxg

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(612): View more from Minnesota

he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.

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(612): he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers. http://tfl.nu/asbc

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(239): View more from Florida

I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.

(1-239): View more from Florida

I told you I'd buy you lunch.

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(239): I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail. (1-239): I told you I'd buy you lunch. http://tfl.nu/jsln

Replies (8) Good night (911) Bad night (1665)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Why does my jaw hurt?

(402): View more from Nebraska

I may have punched you.

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(303): Why does my jaw hurt? (402): I may have punched you. http://tfl.nu/tz5g

Replies (7) Good night (1606) Bad night (335)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.

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(701): Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard. http://tfl.nu/ybia

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(815): View more from Illinois

is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?

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(815): is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal? http://tfl.nu/lpf5

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