She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize