brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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