i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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