Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize